Leonardo di Vinci’s Resume

May 6, 2014June 21, 2014 ~ gannebassett ~ Leave a comment

There has been some talk in HR and resume forums surrounding what we can learn from Leonardo di Vinci’s letter of promotion and interest (resume of the time). It has been suggested such an approach would set an applicant apart from all other job seekers and result in a successful hiring. I wonder if it would be received or rejected. Would it be considered a creative, standout approach? Or rejected for the length? Wordiness? Arrogance? Is it really a model? Or is it just another retrospective glimpse of the era?

Perhaps I should test the approach out on my next cover letter:

Most honored hiring manager,

Having sufficiently examined this synopsis of anticipated tasks and duties, and the expectations for an applicant, bearing in mind expectations and need are not equal, and personality with possibility exceeds skill without character, and dutifully weighed the totality of my offering against the considerations of potential contenders for the same position, I submit to you without prejudice, but in truth, the outline of my accomplishments and the transferable skills therein defined that would be most beneficial to the goals of your organization, the mission of your project and the functionality of your team., notwithstanding the pleasure to be derived from partnering with personality.

I have depreciation schedules with profit and loss spreadsheets that lift the burden of tracking and solicitation to encapsulate and reflect through pivot tables and illustration financial stewardship of million dollars budgets within a 5% margin…

What do you think? I bet I get an interview. Or at least a RT on Twitter.

Below is a translation of Di Vinci’s letter, certainly fascinating, and perhaps a bit insightful. He did know how to sell his skills for a specific need.

“Most Illustrious Lord, Having now sufficiently considered the specimens of all those who proclaim themselves skilled contrivers of instruments of war, and that the invention and operation of the said instruments are nothing different from those in common use: I shall endeavor, without prejudice to any one else, to explain myself to your Excellency, showing your Lordship my secret, and then offering them to your best pleasure and approbation to work with effect at opportune moments on all those things which, in part, shall be briefly noted below.
I have a sort of extremely light and strong bridges, adapted to be most easily carried, and with them you may pursue, and at any time flee from the enemy; and others, secure and indestructible by fire and battle, easy and convenient to lift and place. Also methods of burning and destroying those of the enemy.
I know how, when a place is besieged, to take the water out of the trenches, and make endless variety of bridges, and covered ways and ladders, and other machines pertaining to such expeditions.
If, by reason of the height of the banks, or the strength of the place and its position, it is impossible, when besieging a place, to avail oneself of the plan of bombardment, I have methods for destroying every rock or other fortress, even if it were founded on a rock, etc.
Again, I have kinds of mortars; most convenient and easy to carry; and with these I can fling small stones almost resembling a storm; and with the smoke of these cause great terror to the enemy, to his great detriment and confusion.
And if the fight should be at sea I have kinds of many machines most efficient for offense and defense; and vessels which will resist the attack of the largest guns and powder and fumes.
I have means by secret and tortuous mines and ways, made without noise, to reach a designated spot, even if it were needed to pass under a trench or a river.
I will make covered chariots, safe and unattackable, which, entering among the enemy with their artillery, there is no body of men so great but they would break them. And behind these, infantry could follow quite unhurt and without any hindrance.
In case of need I will make big guns, mortars, and light ordnance of fine and useful forms, out of the common type.
Where the operation of bombardment might fail, I would contrive catapults, mangonels, trabocchi, and other machines of marvellous efficacy and not in common use. And in short, according to the variety of cases, I can contrive various and endless means of offense and defense.
In times of peace I believe I can give perfect satisfaction and to the equal of any other in architecture and the composition of buildings public and private; and in guiding water from one place to another.
I can carry out sculpture in marble, bronze, or clay, and also I can do in painting whatever may be done, as well as any other, be he who he may.
Again, the bronze horse may be taken in hand, which is to be to the immortal glory and eternal honor of the prince your father of happy memory, and of the illustrious house of Sforza.
And if any of the above-named things seem to anyone to be impossible or not feasible, I am most ready to make the experiment in your park, or in whatever place may please your Excellency – to whom I comment myself with the utmost humility, etc.”

Fat Words Do Not Equal Wisdom

May 4, 2014June 21, 2014 ~ gannebassett ~ 1 Comment

“She can’t be that bad off,” he says. “Look how heavy she is.”

It’s just another head-to-desk moment in the face of ignorance. Such words do not reflect reason or rationality, much less wisdom.

Let me start with a disclaimer: I am not on food stamps, nor do I receive any subsidies, TANF support or temporary crisis relief from the government or any affiliates. I have, however written grants for a food bank organization that provided me as a “thank you” two months of the standard monthly food supply box they issue program participants. I have also volunteered with several organizations, packing said boxes and preparing fresh food (I use the term loosely – no, in fact I use it in error) for the needy. Since my current job involves cooking for the less fortunate, and part of my pay includes the food prepared, I have a unique perspective

As I hear such comments it only reveals to me the level of ignorance pervasive in our society.

Let me tell you the contents of my last food box:

• 1 – 2.5 lb. Bag Chicken Nuggets (Fully cooked processed meat for your convenience)
• 1 – 5 lb. Bag Potato Wedges (So you always have a starch)
• 1 – 8” Frozen Pizza
• 1 – Bag Totinos Pizza Rolls (For your quick lunch needs)
• 1 – Box Spaghetti (In a brand unknown to man)
• 1 – Can Spaghetti Sauce (A Mexican brand for authenticity)
• 2 – Can Cream Style Corn (Additional cream in your starchy vegetable is a must)
• 2 – Can Green Beans (with 413 mg Sodium, for added supplementation)
• 1 – Bag of Onions (1 rotten in the bag)
• 1 – Jar Peanut Butter (Likely made from the shells and not the peanuts)
• 3 – Boxes of Cream Cheese (Frozen, and therefore adequately separated)
• 1 – Bag Powdered Donuts (For a healthy breakfast alternative)
• 6 – Croissants (only hardened on the corners)
• 6 – Bagels (Rock hard and ready for weapons)
• 1 – 12-Pack Hot Dogs (A value brand with more chemicals than rejected meat parts)
• 1 – Frozen Apple Pie (With more apple filling than apple)
• 1 – Box Fig Square bars (An experiment on the Fig Newton)
• 4 – Bars of Soap (unboxed and loose in the bag)
• 1 – Can Pork and Beans (Van Kamp is to be commended at this point)
• 1 – Bag White Rice (Good Choice)
• 1 – Bag Dried Pinto Beans (Another good choice)

Now, in reviewing this list there are two very accurate statements to be made: 1. This amount of food will really help a hungry family and is a blessing, and 2. The contents of this box contributes to weight gain, diabetes, high cholesterol and an overall lethargic state of health.

Now, if you fall far enough below the poverty line, you can also get an EBT card as part of the SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program). This will allow you to purchase breads, cereals, fruits, vegetables, meats, fish, poultry and dairy products at the grocery store. That certainly helps balance the scales (no pun intended) a bit; except in reality the amount on the EBT card when applied to current grocery store pricing results in really only a week’s worth of “healthy” food supplementation. And, if you are even 5 dollars above that set poverty line, you do not qualify for the card, and therefore will be dependent on the content of the box alone.

I’m not knocking the Food Banks and Charity organizations that are so graciously providing food for the community. Not at all. They are a Godsend and are doing amazing work. These food boxes mean Americans who have fallen into adversity are not going hungry. This cannot be disputed. I’m only speaking against the judgmental attitudes of those who make ignorant attacks against the unfortunate, making statements that are counterproductive to the system and to any steps toward improvement.

It’s no secret the United States is known for their unhealthy food choices and lifestyle. Even the richest in our country fall victim to the processed and fast food epidemic. But a family in poverty, dependent on the provisions of charity and subsidy programs, without the choices available to most, the quest for health is close to futile.

I have travelled a lot throughout the years, and every time I am out of the country for more than a week, I can count on losing 8-10 pounds at a minimum solely based on the surrounding food philosophies. This isn’t just me talking, either. It’s a reported fact that the American way of processed, chemically manufactured and hormone-supported food is counterproductive to health and weight management. With obesity directly tied to these issues, is it any surprise the group without choice would fall privy to this issue?

I can tell you, I’ve never seen a food drive that produced organic donations. The possibility for fresh produce is non-existent simply based on the procedures within the system, and frozen vegetables are a rare donation since the average American family depends on them to meet their food pyramid demands. Additionally, real meat products are more seasonal than standard. On special occasions, such as Easter, Thanksgiving and Easter, a special meat will be provided in a food box, such as a small ham, a whole chicken or a roast. These generous gifts are from grocers who have overstocked for the special occasion and certainly not reflective of a scheduled supply.

The weight of a person is no indication of need. Can’t you see the problem?

Before you pass judgments on the true need of the less fortunate, why not think about the facts and do the math as you eat your second organic muffin and drink your grande macchiato?

A Week in the Life of the Lazy Long-term Unemployed

May 3, 2014June 21, 2014 ~ gannebassett ~ 1 Comment

My friend Max Weiss said I should blog about the long-term unemployed experience.

Who’d want to read about that dreadful, depressing journey? And why would anyone dealing with the day-to-day struggle want to spend even more time in the drudgery talking about it?

“It’s relevant, timely, and insightful; it challenges the narrow-minded thinking of the right wing. And it could be cathartic.”

She’s a magazine editor. Surely she knows.

A Week in the Life

Have you heard? The long-term unemployed are lazy, lacking drive and motivation, and entitlement programs discourage recipients from finding work.

This week, I applied for the following positions:

(4) Facilities Manager
(2) Project Manager
(1) Administrative Facilities Support
(1) Non-profit
(1) Teaching (TESOL)

For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of completing online applications, correcting erroneously populated data fields, taking mandatory tests, personalizing the cover letters, and completing questionnaires specific to the company and job, the process is much longer than simply forwarding your resume.

Additionally, I signed up with an International Recruiting Company for opportunities in the US and abroad, resubmitted my Peace Corp application, signed up for the Foreign Services testing in June and worked on ramping up my LinkedIn Profile.

I spent two hours in a mandatory debt counseling class before I could talk with a lawyer about the bullying I have received from my mortgage company. After determining I had cut back expenses in my life more than most people, and had actually come up with quite creative ways to reduce costs, they forwarded me to another organization. I spent another two hours going through their process. I then spent an hour compiling the paperwork they requested.

In an effort to make a little extra money, I trained two people in a software program, created a database, pitched an article idea to a newspaper and a magazine, and sold a sketch. This was in between the time I caulked and painted around the top of the chimney, mowed the lawn, provided a statement to an insurance company regarding an accident I witnessed, assisted a stranded motorist in getting her car to the garage, completed two modules in a French course, participated in a conference call on networking in the FM industry, and had my car repaired when the gasket leaked.

Of course, this is all above and beyond the time spent doing laundry, cooking, cleaning, attending small group, and the other day-to-day responsibilities so often taken for granted.

I’ve been considered long-term unemployed for two years now, and yes, clearly I’m lazy (spoken with abundant sarcasm).

Here’s the thing. I’m busy trying to rebuild my life in a system that is blocking my every move. I’m engaged in a war that most people only peripherally know is being waged much less understand what it’s like on the front lines. Perhaps if people would put away their judgments and preconceived notions and actually do the work involved to understand what’s happening, they wouldn’t make such unmerited, foolish statements. But stepping outside your comfort zone takes work; it demands time, patience and attention. It’s a challenge, and more often than not the results of enlightenment are a whole lot of disappointment and hurt. It’s much easier to sit in the lap of luxury and call the less fortunate lazy.

Cheers! May you never face adversity.