Is there something in your life you want to do, but remains undone?
Well, of course. Every good procrastinator can look around and see a ton of things left undone. Anyone with a bit of ADHD can point out all of the unfinished projects littering their lives and reminding them of their propensity for distraction. For that matter, anyone with a busy life will complain of things they just don’t have time to finish. We are a people undone!
But, I wonder how many things in our life that remain undone are actually important in the big picture.
The room unpainted? The basement unfinished? The leaky faucet that still drips? These are temporary appeasements. They will add comfort and satisfaction, or perhaps even make our current situation a little better, but they are not of much importance in our greater purpose. These are simply the everyday reminders of imbalance.
Perhaps it would be something more along the lines of starting that business you’ve been thinking about, or writing that book you’ve been wanting to write. Those are more lofty unmet goals that deserves a bit of mourning. Yet, they don’t resonate with life-affirming importance, either.
What of the “bucket list,” those things we seek to do before we die? Skydiving? Sailing on the Mediterranean? Hiking in the Amazon? A spiritual journey through the Holy Land? The grand adventures of experience and travel that line the pages of our mind. These activities are fulfilling in their own right, but again, lack true emotional or spiritual significance in the big picture. Our bucket lists are often a reflection of the selfishness conspicuously absent in the dying.
It’s not easy to think about what would matter if you were facing death. I remember reading a book with my friends about living life as if you only had 30 days left to live. It pointed out that perspective changes when you know your time is limited and it posed the question(s): what would you do? What would you change? What would suddenly become meaningless and what more important? The idea was to remember that we all have limited time on earth; we forget and/or take time for granted. But if we were to start living life as if we were dying, wouldn’t we make decisions with more clarity? Move with less hesitancy? Approach each other with a more open heart?
It’s not a new idea; the self-help aisles of bookstores are lined with books reminding us to live each day to the fullest. I found the discussions in our little group somewhat amusing given this particular book was not just a self-help guide, but a kind of spiritual counseling. Instead of reinforcing church doctrines, it challenged them. It seems for many of us, some of the rules and ideologies for living a Godly life wouldn’t be as important if death was knocking. The freedom to embrace all that life has to offer in the limited time available would sometimes involve appreciating things that may be in direct contrast to religion, shedding the restrictions and walking in a very basic understanding of love, peace and simple joys.
You see, in the end, the things left undone in life that will matter, the things you will strive to repair or resolve, are the open issues of the heart. It will be less about projects and tasks, or travel and exploration; it will not be about preaching and teaching, or arguing and debate. Who’s right and wrong won’t matter as much as the goodbye and the legacy of love left behind.
I think when asked what thing I want to do that remains undone, it’s not just a question of to-do lists or unrequited dreams. It’s about addressing the disappointments and hurts, the failures and unfinished business that burden my heart above any physical, financial or mental limitation.
Harold Kushner once said “I am convinced that it is not the fear of death, of our lives ending, that haunts our sleep so much as the fear that as far as the world is concerned, we might as well never have lived.” Our real legacy is rooted in relationship, in the memories and love of those left behind.
So I think of who needs to be forgiven? Who I need to ask for forgiveness? Who needs to know I love them? I admire them? Who needs to hear why they are special? Whose life could I touch for the better with a simple act of kindness?
What are the things left undone that prevent you from living passionately and loving completely? It’s not what’s you didn’t do, or didn’t experience, or what’s missing from your life that is important. It’s the “undone” in the life you currently live that really matters.
What is left undone that would result in a truly unfinished life if you don’t address it?
Maybe it’s time to take action.
by G. Anne Bassett 